A song

http://youtu.be/IBHEJtqKjkk


This song has touched my heart and makes me think of sweet Hunter.  Please listen.

Remembering Hunter Lee.

It is now 4 days away from what would have been Hunter's 1st birthday if he had survived.  Sometimes I wish I could go back to that day nearly a year ago and just hold him a little longer.  I tried memorizing everything about him, but now, unless I look at photos, some of the things are fading from my memory.  One thing will never fade, I will always love and miss him.  I will always remember his cute and crazy eyebrows too.  Although the pain of losing my 4th and last nephew has lessened, I certainly do miss him!  My SIL had a hard time carrying pregnancies to term (both Justin and Erik were premature and she had many miscarriages in between), so I never got excited about the baby until she reached 20 weeks, then the dreaming and excitement would begin for me.  So when she reached 20 weeks with Hunter, I felt safe thinking about all the fun things we would do with him as he grew.  By 22 weeks though, we knew something wasn't right, but still, I hoped for the best and figured it wasn't something time couldn't heal.  Then at just 24 weeks and 3 days, Hunter came into this world.  He was too small.  The neonatologist's tried to get a breathing tube in, but it just wasn't going to work.  So, they brought him to us and he spent his 2 hours with his family loving him and holding him.  I took so many pictures because I never want to forget his perfect face or his tiny fingers and toes.  The nurses were so sweet and they stamped his hand prints and foot prints onto his birth certificate (he was born alive).  They also made a soft mold of his hands and feet as a keepsake.  They were so sweet and understanding and they were very helpful.  So, these past few days, Hunter has been on my mind a little extra as his 1st birthday approaches.  I'm not sure what we will do in memory of him, but I suspect a little something should be done.  I don't want his big brothers to forget him either.  Well, that's all for now.  Good night.

Preschool Graduation

Wow!  Two posts in one day!  I wanted the blog post about Erik's hearing aids to be separate from the post about his graduation from preschool.  Anyway, it's official.  Erik is no longer in preschool.  He will start kindergarten this Fall and I cannot believe how fast these past 5 yrs. have gone.  Our tiny preemie is now a big boy!  I think I blinked or something, because suddenly he's not a baby anymore.  While I miss him being a baby, I truly enjoy seeing his personality emerge as he gets older.  He is non verbal, but he has a twinkle in his eyes that just brings a smile to this Auntie's face.  He certainly can be mischievous.  lol  We love you Erik and congratulations on graduating from preschool!  You truly are a miracle!

Hearing Aids

So, Erik finally got his hearing aids, and as we suspected would happen, he hates them and is always trying to pull them out.  When they first put them in he fussed a lot, I think it might have been stimulation overload, but he is getting used to them and hopefully he can hear us much better now.  So, here is a picture of him with his hearing aids in.  His mommy picked blue ones for him.  I hope he hears me now when I tell him I love him.  Aunty loves you lil' guy!

Happy 5th Birthday Erik!

O.k.  I know.  This is 20 days late.  But, on March 1st we celebrated Erik's 5th birthday.  The theme for his party was Thomas the Tank Engine.  Erik just went for his 5 yr. check up and we found out he is 27 lbs. and 34 inches!  He sure is growing.  I don't know how much longer I can carry him around.  He's getting so heavy!  Erik is doing well.  He is rolling over, trying to sit up in his chair and always scooting off his diaper!  He is going in for another hearing test to see if we can get his hearing aids in so we can work on seeing if he can speak.  The only word I have ever heard him say is "Mama".  But he no longer says it (that I have noticed).  I'm hoping he'll develop the ability to speak.  When I think of how far Erik has come since his days as a tiny preemie in the NICU, I am filled with love and pride for our miracle.  I love that boy!  God is so good to have blessed me with 4 handsome nephews and I love all 4, the 3 on Earth and the angel in Heaven.  So, although this is late, Happy 5th Birthday Erik!!  Aunty loves you Bubba!

Merry Christmas! (A few days late).

Erik had a good day Christmas day.  He is growing like crazy.  He got  a lot of new clothes and he is wearing one of his new Christmas outfits in the picture above ^.  It's hard to believe he will be 5 years old in just 2 mos!  He is still quite small for his age.  On Christmas day we had my brother and his wife over as well as all 3 of my nephews. (Although I wish all 4 of my nephews could be there, but we'll see Hunter again someday).  It was a nice time with family.  We also had a friend come over with her 2 month old baby and she stayed for about 2 hours, so that was fun too.  I made sure to remember to thank God for sending His Son to be born.  We have a wonderful Saviour!  Merry Christmas everyone and God bless!

Hunter, "I will carry you" in my heart and in my mind!

I came across a beautiful song today.  A group known as Selah sings it.  I loved the lyrics.  Here they are:

"I Will Carry You"

There were photographs I wanted to take


Things I wanted to show you

Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes

Who could love you like this?



People say that I am brave but I'm not

Truth is I'm barely hanging on

But there's a greater story

Written long before me

Because He loves you like this



[Chorus]

I will carry you

While your heart beats here

Long beyond the empty cradle

Through the coming years

I will carry you

All my life

And I will praise the One Who's chosen me

To carry you



Such a short time

Such a long road

All this madness

But I know

That the silence

Has brought me to His voice

And He says ...



I've shown him photographs of time beginning

Walked him through the parted seas

Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes

Who could love him like this?


[Chorus]

No one seems to want to talk about Hunter around here, but I miss him.  I love being an auntie, and I had dreams of all the fun things I would get to do with Hunter once he was born. Those dreams came to a crashing halt on July 20th of this year.  One dream did come true though, and I am thankful for it, I got to hold him in my arms.  I got to touch his tiny hands, kiss his baby cheek and love on him for the short time he was with us.  I think of him often.  I wish he could have stayed.  But, I know he's seeing things we will never see on this side of Heaven.  Know that you are loved and missed Hunter!  Love, Auntie Karen.