Merry Christmas! (A few days late).

Erik had a good day Christmas day.  He is growing like crazy.  He got  a lot of new clothes and he is wearing one of his new Christmas outfits in the picture above ^.  It's hard to believe he will be 5 years old in just 2 mos!  He is still quite small for his age.  On Christmas day we had my brother and his wife over as well as all 3 of my nephews. (Although I wish all 4 of my nephews could be there, but we'll see Hunter again someday).  It was a nice time with family.  We also had a friend come over with her 2 month old baby and she stayed for about 2 hours, so that was fun too.  I made sure to remember to thank God for sending His Son to be born.  We have a wonderful Saviour!  Merry Christmas everyone and God bless!

Hunter, "I will carry you" in my heart and in my mind!

I came across a beautiful song today.  A group known as Selah sings it.  I loved the lyrics.  Here they are:

"I Will Carry You"

There were photographs I wanted to take


Things I wanted to show you

Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes

Who could love you like this?



People say that I am brave but I'm not

Truth is I'm barely hanging on

But there's a greater story

Written long before me

Because He loves you like this



[Chorus]

I will carry you

While your heart beats here

Long beyond the empty cradle

Through the coming years

I will carry you

All my life

And I will praise the One Who's chosen me

To carry you



Such a short time

Such a long road

All this madness

But I know

That the silence

Has brought me to His voice

And He says ...



I've shown him photographs of time beginning

Walked him through the parted seas

Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes

Who could love him like this?


[Chorus]

No one seems to want to talk about Hunter around here, but I miss him.  I love being an auntie, and I had dreams of all the fun things I would get to do with Hunter once he was born. Those dreams came to a crashing halt on July 20th of this year.  One dream did come true though, and I am thankful for it, I got to hold him in my arms.  I got to touch his tiny hands, kiss his baby cheek and love on him for the short time he was with us.  I think of him often.  I wish he could have stayed.  But, I know he's seeing things we will never see on this side of Heaven.  Know that you are loved and missed Hunter!  Love, Auntie Karen.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, this is Erik's 5th Thanksgiving!  I can't believe how fast time goes by.  For his 1st Thanksgiving, Erik was 8 mos. old and still fitting in preemie clothes.  Now our miracle boy is in 18-24 mos. size clothing and he is getting quite chunky!  We sure do love him. I am thankful for the 4 nephews God has blessed me with.  Christopher is the oldest and nearing 20 years old.  I had the priveledge of being there as Christopher entered this world.  He was nearly 9 lbs. at birth!!!  Such an amazing experience for this auntie, especially because the next 3 boys born to my brother were all born prematurely and via c-section.  Justin was a tiny tyke, born nearly 7 weeks early and weighing 4 lbs. 10 oz.  He had a tiny start, but he is now a strapping 11 yr. old.  He keeps life interesting and busy.  lol  Erik, the one who this blog is about, came into our life 11 weeks early and weighing only 1 lb. 3 oz.  He was not as big as he should have been for a 29 weeker.  He should have been closer to 3 lbs.  But, Erik made his mark in this world and he continues to bring joy to our family.  I couldn't imagine life without him and I am thankful I don't have to.  Last came our sweet boy, Hunter.  Hunter will be missed this Thanksgiving.  He touched our lives in such a tremendous way.  Although I wish he could be here with us, I am thankful we got to meet him.  I am thankful I heard his heartbeat on the monitor a week before he was born.  I am thankful I got to hold him right after he was born, when he was still alive.  I am thankful he lived, even if it was for a brief moment.  Thank You Lord for the 2 hours he spent with us after he was born.  Thank You Lord for allowing our family the priveledge of these four, handsome boys!  I am, indeed, very thankful.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Erik- Getting Big!

Our little Erik isn't so little anymore!  Now, I know he is small for a 4 1/2 yr. old, but compared to what we've been used to, the boy is HUGE!  lol  He weighs about 25 lbs. now and is wearing clothing sizes 18-24 mos.  He's come a long way from being so small he couldn't even wear clothes until he was 2 mos. old, and even then, the smallest preemie outfits were still huge on him.  Now he gets to wear stuff that looks like it's more for a big boy.  Erik also hates wearing shoes and socks.  The other day I took him to church with me because we were having "Old Fashioned Sunday".  Erik had shoes on and was fine for the beginning of church.  Suddenly he started whining and getting frustrated.  Erik doesn't talk, so I couldn't figure out what was wrong.  I finally called my brother who told me to take off Erik's shoes and socks.  Sure enough, within 2 minutes of taking his shoes off, Erik stopped his fussing.  Silly boy!  Also, Erik now lives much closer to me and my mom.  In fact, they used to live 42 miles away, and now they live only a mile away.  It's so nice getting to see my nephews more often. Well, that's a brief update for now.  Erik is doing well and is still attending an amazing preschool.  He's thriving and we are so glad he is here!

Hunter's poem and an update on Erik.

Hunter Lee

His life on Earth was not too long,
in fact, it was quite brief.
And yet, our hearts were filled with song,
while at the same time, filled with grief.

Getting to meet him was so great!
I just wish we could have had more time,
it put our emotions in quite a state,
as we whispered 'hello' and 'goodbye'.

Yet, Hunter's life was not in vain,
he came to bring us joy.
Our time with him was not all pain,
but also love for our sweet, baby boy!

We'll always miss you Hunter Lee,
in our hearts you'll forever stay,
you're in Heaven now, safe and free,
and we'll see you again someday.

Love,
Your Aunty Karen

"Some people only dream of angels.  We held one in our arms" -Author Unknown-


I wrote the above poem for Hunter tonight (9/27/12).  It has been 2 months since we held him.  He is still thought of often.  Hunter's big brother, Erik, is who this blog is about, so I thought I'd give a brief update on him too.

ERIK
Erik is doing real well these days.  He continues to find humor in loud noises.  He also attends preschool still and will be starting kindergarten next year.  Our tiny 1 lb. preemie now weighs a whopping 24 lbs!!  It's hard to believe he was ever so tiny.  Erik rolls around on the floor, enjoys the Jumperoo and of course, he loves to be held.  He still says no words, except on occasion I'm pretty sure he has said "mama".  Now if only I can get him to say "Aunty"...

Missing Hunter.

                                              Hunter Lee's perfect feet.

Well, it has been 3 days since we said our goodbye's to Hunter.  It hasn't gotten easier.  Little things, like seeing the two outfits I had bought for him, or seeing the portable swing we were going to use at my place, brings tears to my eyes.  Knowing he will never get to use the stuff I bought him is so sad.  I have to refocus and remember he is happy in Heaven, safe with God.  I know I will see him again someday.  I keep staring at his pictures and thinking of how stinkin' cute he already was at only 24 weeks along.  He was so amazing!  So perfect!  So loved!  So wanted!  I can only hope he felt his family's love for him in the 90 minutes we got to spend with him while he was alive.  I'm sure he did.  Tomorrow his mommy will get to leave the hospital and then the hospital will do an autopsy, then send his body to be cremated.  His ashes will stay with his parents.  They decided to not bury him.  I am glad they will at least have his remains nearby at all times.  All of this was written just to say, I am missing Hunter!  I will always miss him, especially at family get togethers when we all notice one of our family members is not there.  I love you Hunter Lee!  Love, Auntie Karen.

In loving memory of Hunter Lee

On Friday, July 13th, my SIL (Erik's mommy), was admitted to the hospital because Erik's baby brother, Hunter Lee, was not doing so well in the womb.  My SIL was 23 weeks pregnant at the time.  They needed to keep her at the hospital for observation and tests.  It turns out Hunter's lungs were not measuring correctly (too small) and that he had fluid on his brain.  The doctors wanted to try and get Hunter to 30 weeks gestation before delivering him, to try and give him a chance.  However, one week later, Friday, July 20th, the realized Hunter hadn't grown the whole week and that the placenta was barely sustaining him.  They decided to deliver Hunter, now at 24 weeks gestation, that night.  Hunter Lee was born at 9:11 p.m. on July 20th.  He was tiny, only 13.1 oz. and 9 1/2 inches long.  He was so tiny, they couldn't get a breathing tube in him, although they did try.  They realized quickly that it wouldn't work, and so they did not take him to the NICU.  Instead, they allowed my mom and I to join my brother and my SIL in a private setting.  They brought Hunter to us and we got to hold him and kiss him and tell him we love him.  He lived for an hour and a half, and I am so thankful we got to meet him, no matter how brief our time with him was.  We spent 2 whole hours just holding him and taking pictures of him.  He had the cutest face and such perfect fingers and toes.  I am so sad we had to bid him farewell so soon, but I find peace in knowing he is in Heaven with Jesus and that he feels no pain.  We are the ones left to grieve here on Earth.  So, it is with sadness that I say, rest in peace sweet Hunter Lee!  We love you so very much!  You will never, ever be forgotten.  Some people only dream of angels, we held one in our arms.  Love,  Your Auntie.

An angel in the book of life, wrote down our baby's birth, then whispered as he closed the book, "Too beautiful for Earth".

It's a BOY!

Well, we found out Erik is going to have a baby brother.  His name will be Hunter.  And while things were going well for the 1st 20 weeks of Hunter's exsistance, it seems he has reached a stalling point in his development.  So, please, if anyone is reading this, please pray for Hunter.  Pray that he will start growing again and that he will be born healthy.  Right now it's not looking so great.  He has low amniotic fluid which has resulted in his lungs being small.  They also noticed fluid on his brain, which leads us to believe he might have hydrocephalus. The placenta is not functioning like it should which has resulted in the several problems popping up.  My greatest hope is that the doctors are wrong, but they probably aren't.  I just want Hunter to be happy and healthy.  We already love him so much, and I'd rather not have to say goodbye to him before we really get the chance to get to know him.  He does have a strong heartbeat and he moves around a lot according to his mommy.  So, please pray for Hunter.  Christopher, Justin and Erik would make great big brothers and we'd love to welcome Hunter into our family.
PS Tomorrow Claire will be 24 weeks into this pregnancy.  The doctor would like to keep Hunter in her womb until at least 30 weeks, preferrably longer.  Thanks.

Erik is going to be a big brother!

Erik on his 4th birthday!

Well, I think it's safe to announce that sweet Erik is going to be a big brother!  Yep, his mommy and daddy are expecting a new baby November 5th!  So, my SIL is now 17 1/2 weeks pregnant and so far the baby is doing well.  We are hoping for a full term baby.  It started off as a twin pregnancy, but at 7 weeks, one of the twins decided to go live with Jesus.  While we are sad he/she had to go, we are thankful the other one decided to stay here with us so far.  Next month we will get to find out the gender!  I must admit, I am hoping for a niece, but a 4th nephew will be just as loved.  As for Erik, he has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy.  He also recently got tubes put in his ears and in two weeks will be going for a hearing test so he can get the right hearing aids. He has some hearing loss, but can hear louder sounds just fine, and usually finds loud sound funny.  Erik is still small for his age.  He turned 4 years old on February 29th, his 1st official birthday since he is a Leap Year baby.  Other than what is mentioned, Erik is doing about the same.  No hospitalizations since he was 2!  We love our little miracle baby! (Err... preschooler!)